


on this night (and in this light)

by planetsoflove



Series: my place is not deliberate [3]
Category: Chicken Girls (Web Series)
Genre: 2nd person POV, F/F, birdie...very not straight, if you don't know what's going on it's ok because honestly neither do i, potentially my most pretentious piece yet, the birdie/rooney dynamic............very very not straight
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-28
Updated: 2021-01-28
Packaged: 2021-03-13 21:01:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 439
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29035113
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/planetsoflove/pseuds/planetsoflove
Summary: You should tell her you love her, but you won’t
Relationships: Birdie Kay/Rooney Forrester
Series: my place is not deliberate [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2130090





	on this night (and in this light)

**Author's Note:**

> anyways this is definitely the most pretentious thing i've written it's completely self indulgent. if u enjoy that's cool, i like that. i might come back and edit this but idk. might write more chapters but idk

Her hand falls to the side of your bed, arm draped over your stomach. You allow yourself to enjoy it, just this once. Just this once, and that’s enough. You’ve never been one to set your sights high. 

Downstairs, you hear your brother getting ready for school. You worry it make wake her. But his noise doesn’t creep into your room, and Rooney has always been a heavy sleeper. You give yourself another moment of peace. 

You want to kiss her forehead, but you don’t. You want to pull the comforter over your shoulders and stay here all day, but you can’t. You should tell her you love her, but you won’t. You tell her to wake up. You try to look at her normal. You try to smile, but it gets hard so you get out of bed instead. Try to get ready for school. Try. 

She sits up. Pulls your sheets across her shoulders. “It’s cold,” She says, like she always does, but you don’t turn around. You pull your hair back and lock the clasp on your necklace. You’re trying something new. You can't turn around. You’re trying to be happy. You should turn around. Turn around, and kiss her on the lips like you want to. Like you used to, when you were younger, before—

You turn around. Pick up your bathrobe and give it to her. You make a joke that you don’t remember the punchline of, but she laughs and you figure it’ll be alright. She laughs all the way to the bathroom, and it takes you until she’s ready to wipe the grin off your face. You go downstairs to drive to school, and the car ride isn’t so bad because TK is so enthralled in some new movie concept he won’t let anyone else get in a word. You’ve never been so grateful for him. You get to school before letting out a breath. 

Most of your classes are a walkthrough, teachers deciding that January was too late to teach the seniors anything new. You drive home and wait until after dinner, when she’ll come into your room and linger.

She always does. Lingers just enough for your heart to rip open. You’re living in a cycle of stitching and tearing, stitch and tear. The pieces keep getting more torn. You think eventually it’ll be beyond repair. Maybe it already is. You’re not strong enough to push her away, and you don’t think you would if you could. You’re not strong enough to untie your paths or to rewire them with three words, so you ask her to stay. Stitch, tear. 


End file.
